Head Games in Running

It has been a while since I've trained for a race - it's funny how much you can forget in a year - and I was starting to wonder if maybe I was losing my mind with the highs and lows I've been feeling. Thankfully, Miss Zippy and Jen both posted very timely thoughts on this exact topic.

Some days I feel strong, powerful, and amazing when I'm running

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Then I have a couple of runs like my race last week and my long run yesterday, and I feel very sloppy, slow, and quite UNamazing

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I used the "climb" rating feature on MapMyRun to compare the hills on the Harpers Ferry Half to the hills I typically run, and it's didn't exactly boost my confidence. 

Three of hills on the Half are a category 5 - which is the lowest on their scale...originally I thought 5 was the highest rating, and I almost cried.

The hills near me don't 'meet the criteria to be rated.' In other words, they're not steep or long enough to warrant a rating. gulp.

As I ran yesterday, the doubt monkey was all over my back with negative chatter.

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The hills will be steeper and longer.

The weather will be hotter.

If you can't hack these pitiful little hills, how do you think you're going to run a more challenging course...much less PR?

And so on

As I sat in my first ever ice bath, my thoughts leveled out a bit.

I have 6 more weeks before the race and 4 more to work on building and strengthening.

The hills around here really aren't all that small (I'm technically challenged and couldn't figure out how get the miles to show as well, but the dark dots at the bottom are the even numbered miles)

When I sort through all the crap, it comes down to a couple of basic points

~ I'm happy as can be simply because I can run. My IT band has quieted itself. My foot is no longer broken. I can run. Cool!

~ I'm training smarter, listening to my body instead of charging head first, and I can run!

Come race day, I need to keep those two things in the front of my mind. I need to trust that I've trained the best that I can. And I need to believe that race day will be the fruition of my hard work.

And that I'm going to have a darn good time because I'll be running!



Goals for my first Tri

I considered titling this "What not to do to train for your first tri" because nothing about my training for this has been remotely normal.

1. I got the OK to run on August 11th. If you count backwards, that'll be 45 days before the race. Of course I didn't hit the road on day one and crank out an easy 5 miler. It has been a slow but deliberate process, and my longest run so far is just 3.11 miles. Slow but pain-free so I'll take it, very happily.

2. I've had zero free weekends in that time. I've had days here and there where I could crank out some long rides, but I've had to cram them in around a very full calendar.

3. I did 1 brick workout, sort of. It was a hilly 10 mile ride followed by a hilly 1 mile wog.

4. I've been able to swim 3 times since Labor Day.

What I've done right though should help me:

1. Stayed hydrated and have eaten [mostly] clean
2. Slept in when I felt like I needed it
3. Took rest days when I felt like I needed them.
4. Have not done too much too soon (I don't hurt anywhere so I'm guessing that I'm progressing at a healthy rate)

I sound lazy, hmmmm....I really hope these will balance each other out and I'll be set to survive and complete this thing on Sunday and not experience this:

So my goals? Ah yes, the point of this post....

Goal #1 is to complete it on my two feet with no injury

And if I get out there and unicorns are peeing rainbows, I think I could finish in 1:30. That's a decent swim, solid ride and a pain-free, adrenaline-enhanced run.

I'll skip a B goal and go straight to my

C goal of 2:00 because that's what I put on my registration form...and under that I wrote "SLOW swimmer" and under that I wrote "this is my first Tri" I want the race director's expectations of me to be reasonable. haha!

Obviously if I hop off my bike and my foot or hip hurt, I'll be walking me a 5K.

I'll be sad and disappointed, but further injury is *not* the objective here so I'll have to put on my big girl underpants and deal with the disappointment (after eating a bar of chocolate and polishing off a bottle of wine).

So this time tomorrow, I'll either be hiding in a porto potty or I'll have completed my first triathon! Any and all virtual cheering is much appreciated!

3TT

E and H just happened to wear the same shirt

1. Tuesday was the first day of School Lite which is just Latin, math, spelling and science. Our history, literature and geography co-op begins in a couple of weeks. Theoretically this allows us to ease into the school year and still enjoy some last minute summer fun.

They 'walk to school' on the first day out 1 door, around the yard and in the other door

2. It has only been a couple of days, but with the start up of school, cross country and cub scouts, I can see I'm going to have a hard time fitting in my workouts. While injured and not running, I got into the habit of staying up late and sleeping in. It's not an easy habit to break, but I'm going to have to. The school day goes a thousand times better if I've worked out, showered and eaten *before* the kids wake up at 7.

3. I thought the earthquake was my washing machine going off balance. I lived in the San Francisco bay area for a year and we had 2 (maybe 3?) earthquakes while I was there. They weren't severe so they were more 'cool' than scary - but I was a knuckleheaded teenager so what did I know??

Anyway, I later heard about friends who did all the right things- stand under a doorframe or run outside - while my kids and I sat there wondering what in the world could be so wrong with the washer that it would make such an awful noise and shake the whole house?

My next guess was a large airplane flying too low over the house.

After that I wondered if 2 semis had collided on the highway near us.

Earthquake never entered my mind. I guess I'll have to add that to the list of things to wonder about.

Now we're battening down the hatches for a hurricane. We need the rain so I'm not complaining as long as I get my bike ride in on Saturday.

And how has your week been? Anything new, cool or exciting happening in your world?

It's Complicated

If I were to describe my relationship with Running on Facebook, my status would be “it’s complicated.”  When I see friends with that status, I always wonder what the real deal is. In my case, I am the jilted lover, and Running is toying with my affections.

He lets me spend just enough time with him so that I think we’re back together for good, and then he causes me enough pain to force me to retreat to my friends Cycling and Yoga. We have coffee together and they listen to my endless chattering about how much I enjoy their company but I really want to be reunited with Running.

He throws me little curveballs. Just when I think my ITB and hips are strong, I feel a twinge in my knee while going downhill. A couple of days later the twinge fades but my PF wakes up. I start to feel like a hypochondriac, every little ache or pain from the waist down causes me to fear the worst.

I feel betrayed. Even with a lower back that seems to delight in slowing me down, I’ve always been quite strong physically. I’ve spent many a weekend moving whole rooms of furniture around and rearranging our house, worked for hours digging up and moving sod to enlarge our garden, carried two screaming kids, my purse and multiple shopping bags out of more than one store. I don’t consider myself a wimp.

In the past, I’ve been able to pretty much successfully muscle my way through things. Now, I can’t. I realize part of that is the undeniable fact that I’m getting older. Recovery takes longer. One night of bad sleep haunts me for days. A stomach virus can lay me out flat.

But for 18 months I was able to run through various aches and pains, set goals and meet them, work hard, get faster and go longer. I did it the way ‘experts’ recommend. I took it slow and easy, followed a training plan, strengthened my core, and even stretched from time to time.

So here I am nearly 4 months post injury, barely able to run a mile without hyperventilating. Everything I do or don’t do is based on how my IT feels. I feel unfocused and unsure of myself. Am I at a place physically where I can and should set a running goal? Should I continue to focus primarily on strength and flexibility? Maybe I need to dump Running altogether for a while and spend more time with my friends Cycling and Yoga?

I’ve been doing some reading. Not as much as I would like because I have other things – life, kids, homeschool – that are on the top shelf right now, but enough to feel the flow moving in a particular direction. I still don’t feel like I have any sort of clear plan, but there are some things I’m mulling over….

 

like my diet, my heart rate and my shoes. I'll have to talk more about those a little later though because this post is long enough already.