You must do the things you think you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

It’s Complicated – My Diet- Pt 1

I’ve discussed how I’m using this post-injury/recovery time of little running to transition to minimalist running and begin to heart rate train.

Now it’s time to talk about dietary changes. I’ve written and re-written this post half a dozen times which is why I saved it for last. Should I make it light and funny or heavy and full of emotion? I decided to just lay it all out and go from there.

I’m not a petite person, never been thin, slender or lithe. I’ve always been ‘meaty,’ and whether it was muscular or flabby has alternated over the years. And I find that how I see myself directly relates to how muscular or flabby I think I am.

I’ve been called Thunder Thighs more times than I count. Sounds terrible, I know. But I have to say it really doesn’t bother me during the seasons of my life that I am strong and athletic. I’ve outrun, out lifted, out jumped, etc plenty of skinny chicks so if you want to call me fat as I pass you, go ahead. I’ll be finishing my ice cream cone about the time you drag your tiny hiney across the finish line.

I also don’t typically weigh myself on a regular basis. I usually just eat when I’m hungry and eat less if my pants feel tight.

But now that I can barely run and don’t feel particularly strong or amazing, the numbers on the scale bug me, and I don’t like my pants size, or the fact that my shirts feel a little tight.

I’ve gained about 6 pounds since November, and I’m not exactly thrilled. In years past, I would have looked at the scale, silently cursed my short, round genes and eaten a box of cookies while waiting to catch the flu or encountered some other external force to get the scale moving downward again.

This time... I emailed Jen and asked her how she lost her weight which began a dialogue where she would very kindly email periodically to see how things were going. And it was while I was writing an email to her that I realized what ‘the issue’ was...

In the past when I’ve made a life change, it was for someone else. And I didn’t cheat, didn’t even consider cheating because I’d be letting them down.

For example...
Shane had serious food allergies as a baby – barf, poop, eczema, hives, and crying (me and him) filled the house for over 3 years. While nursing him I couldn’t eat his allergens, and you could not have held me down and forced a morsel of those foods in my mouth. No way, no how. His health depended on what I ate and you better believe I wasn’t going to screw that up if I could help it. Also, I was a pack-a-day smoker in my teens and 20’s. Then along came Jake and a failed marriage. I quit smoking cold turkey because I couldn’t justify spending money on cigarettes when I could barely feed him. So I know I can successfully make radical lifestyle changes.

So what’s different this time? Why would I email someone I’ve only ‘met’ online and start a dialogue about my inner thoughts, read books like Eat to Live, Nourishing Traditions and The Paleo Diet and  schedule doctor appointments with specialists (when I *hate* going to the dr)?

Why not just roll around in the ball pit at McDonald’s in hopes of contracting the latest weight loss inducing virus? Or just continuing onward while waiting for the day I can start seriously running again? No one’s life or health is affected by my spreading backside. Well, no one’s except…. mine.

This is why...Each day I read the blogs of a handful of other women with stories similar to mine, and you’re so faithful to share your struggles and successes. You have inspired and encouraged me – whether you know it or not. And it’s because of you all that I realized I need to make changes for my benefit*…

And I’ve been doing that.

And it’s less painful or difficult than I thought it would.

And I’ll tell you more about the details in another post...

*Don’t worry; I’m not going to buy a convertible and run off with my secretary.


The Green Girl said...

Good luck. I'm in the same boat right now, I can't seem to shake off the 10 pounds I've gained since marathon training.

Elena (Running in Heels After Child) said...

I am like you, I have never been the small girl, I have always had big thighs and I don't look like a runner.

I am over it, I have got to make and see a change in my body. I don't need to be skinny but I need to be leaner and look as fit as I am.

Best of luck, I hope it goes well.



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